When you get a bunch of twenty-something gals together the conversation usually revolves around guys and grub. “How are you and so-and-so?” followed shortly with “Man, I could really go for a large pizza and a DQ Blizzard right now.” Oh good gravy, I love food and I love my friends. I love them so much it hurts sometimes. Seeing my nearest and dearest friends struggle through singleness and stress over relationships eats at my heart.
Not pictured: the tray of Chick-Fill-A nuggets we devoured.
I love connecting with my friends and opening up about our potential life partners (HA!), however I can’t help but cringe when I hear the same lines over and over again…and yes, I’ve been guilty too.
“All guys suck.”
Come on, gals. We roll our eyes out of our heads when people make generalizations about us…let’s not do the same. Sure, some guys aren’t The Notebook‘s Noah or Ruth’s very own Boaz, but not all guys suck. Cut it out with these broad, negative comments. Negative comments result in a negative mindset.
“I’m not dating for __ months.”
I’m all for a little time to get yourself together and pick yourself back up after a relationship. That time when you’re an “independent woman who don’t need a man.” Go ahead on, girl! Work! …but boycotting dating isn’t the solution to a broken heart or relationship frustrations. Our timeline may not align with God’s, but don’t put restrictions and ultimatums on His plan.
“I’m never getting married.”
…and what if you don’t? *GASP* I’m only twenty four, but what if I never get married? I’ll have plenty of time to dig into the Word, to love on others, and reallllyyy learn to rely on God! That doesn’t sound so bad sometimes. No matter what, your life will be so full and complete because of God, and God alone.
So here’s what I want to hear instead:
“I forgive him.”
Being mistreated or disrespected always hurts. I’m not giving anyone a free pass to lie, steal, or cheat. I’m giving forgiveness, just like Christ pardoned me. I’ve been used, unappreciated, cheated on, and physically mistreated…I forgave and I moved forward (Don’t be mislead, this took me a LONG time to do). Just don’t let the bad behavior of one taint a fresh future with another.
“God’s timing is so perfect.”
Need I say more? Maybe he isn’t ready, maybe you aren’t ready. Either way, God doesn’t work on deadlines. Whatever the reason for your relationship status, lack thereof, or heartbreak, the timing is absolutely perfect.
“I know God has a perfect plan.”
The timing is perfect and so is the plan. Use the pain to comfort others. Use the hurt to show forgiveness. God’s plan is the ABSOLUTE BEST PLAN. If you get nothing else from this understand that God’s plan is the ABSOLUTE BEST PLAN.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
I don’t understand why my friends have been hurt. I don’t understand why some of the most genuine, caring women I know have been disappointed time and time again.
However, I trust God and I trust His plan. I know He works for the good of those who love Him. I know that apart from Him we need nothing and no one.
And THAT, my friends, is all that matters.